remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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