oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
