just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
