You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
