Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also, beer. Big fan.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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