Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize