better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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