I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
