in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
