You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
