I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i would punch a child for taco bell
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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