when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
