Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
