are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
