My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
