just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
