I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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