Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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