ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
