yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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