I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i jhust puked up my retainher.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
