just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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