i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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