Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
