I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
