She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
