She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
