For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
