lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
