i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
