I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
