So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
