Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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