So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
