How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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