You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
