You're my little dorito
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You were trust falling into bushes
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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