bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize