i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
