Are we in a gay sports bar?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
