I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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