: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
