I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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