In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
