Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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