That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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