so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
