what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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