is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
