then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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