I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
