Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just blew my weed a kiss
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
