In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
