Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
