Can i not drive my cunt home
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
