Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
accomplished twins. life is a go
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
