Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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