she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
