He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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