She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
