when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
