i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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