There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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