you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
