She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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